Least of These
“Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.”
I asked Jesus what it felt like
to get crucified
and He didn’t dignify me
with an answer right away
I thought maybe
He wasn’t ready to talk about it yet
so I got Him Starbucks
because that always helps
He didn’t open up, though
not like I wanted
and when I say, “I got Him Starbucks”
what I really mean is this:
I got myself Starbucks
and I prayed before I drank it
I said, “Look, Jesus - it’s a large chai
with whole milk - your favorite!”
And I dedicated that chai to the Lord
because it cost about a tenth
of what I made that day so it’s
kind of like a tithe if you look at it right
I hadn’t paid with cash, though
Of course He knew
I used the gift card I’d received
for His last birthday
Jesus didn’t thank me
you know, for the Starbucks
so I thanked Him and that was
pretty much the same thing
He forgets His manners sometimes
when I’m being delusional
and He gives me that wilting look
like in every Renaissance painting
In almost every depiction of Jesus on the cross
His head is tipped toward his right shoulder
almost never the left
and I asked Him if He knew He did that
Sometimes we do things intentionally
but don’t pay attention to it
until someone points it out
and then we think about it so much we stop doing it altogether
Jesus once asked me
why I suck the hot air out from under the Starbucks lid
before tipping it to my mouth
and I wanted to make my answer sound all spiritual
You don’t lie to Jesus, though
so I just shrugged and then He shrugged and then
the first time I caught myself doing it again after that
it was like it had lost all its meaning, so I don’t suck the air anymore
I wondered later whether that inhale of scalding chai steam
had been half the reason I ever bought it in the first place
so now I haven’t been to Starbucks in over a year
until today
Halfway through the beverage
I shook a knowing finger at Jesus
smiled at Him and nodded,
“I see what you did there.”
That’s when He told me
the whipping part was the worst of it
which makes sense when you think about it
and that He never felt the spear bit at all
I knew He would tell me eventually
when the timing was right because He’s like that
He also said I could finish His chai for Him
which He really didn’t have to do
But He said that next time
maybe I should give the Starbucks
to somebody else instead
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